20th March It's too political for me


As the BBC discovered that there was actually other news happening in the world following the return of Gary Lineker to our screens over the weekend, eagle eyed viewers to Match of the Day were puzzled to see several areas of the field appear to be blurred out during highlights of the days matches.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own touchline trotter, football fan Gizza Pass revealved, "At first I thought the missis had been a bit lax with her dusting but then realised that this opaque area wasn't confined to a single spot on the 56inch HD screen but seemed to move about of its own acord almost as if it had accquired some kind of sentinent artificial intellegence."

"And it seemed only to mask certain players when they were in certain areas of the pitch. Erling Harland was crystal clear for the whole game as was Bukayo Saka, Mo Salah and Riyad Mahrez. But everytime Marcus Rashford, Son Heung-Min or Jack Grelish got the ball it was like someone has suddenly smeared a layer of vaseline over where they were playing. It was well wierd."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm whether Gizza Pass' TV screen has developed a mind of its own but suspect that this mysterious moving opaqueness was more to do with the BBC's reluctance to allow left wingers on its screens.


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