11th March Who will fill Gary's boots and chair?


With Gary Lineker having received a yellow card from the BBC and being forced to watch Match of the Day from the stands, a move that has seen his co presenters and pundist decide to take their ball home and refuse to use their jumpers as goalposts, the search is on for new people to front the nation's favourite football program.

Having been benched for his use of free speech which was deemed unacceptable by the BBC, Grace Under Pressure can reveal that the top candidates to fill the comfy armchairs in the MOTD studio are Les '30 p' Andreson, Katie Hopkins, the nation's favourite xenophobe Nigel Farage and no doubt a token black women just to appear to achieve a fair playing field.

Director of the BBC, Tim Davie, explained "the fact that all four of those people know absolutely nothing about fotball should not lower the level of insight on MOTD given that they will be replacing Danny Murphy, Jermaine 'One Show' and Alex Scott. We have come to realise that people are fed up of listening to Lineker and co talking about teams who are struggling in the relegation zone trying to stick to their principles by pretending to be Barcelona and employing the beauty of ticky tocky football". 

"With Les, Katie and Nigel we will go back to the good old days of commentary when balls were just hoofed into the box and there was at least one career ending tackle or fight in every game. And as for any foreign prima donnas falling over in the slightest breeze as if they have been shot by a Ukrainian sniper, well that will be called out for what it is."




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