4th February Schools out


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can reveal that the number of children left bereft, distraught and emotionally traumatised by Wednesday's day off school is officially...zero

While the BBC appears hell bent on insisting that kids would be happier doing double maths or learning a hands on trade for the day they leave / get expelled from school and end up working up a chimney or running a county lines gang, actual hard evidence points to the opposite. According to the latest research all school children irrespective of age, gender or ability just love a day off school. Indeed many often reminise about the glory days of the pandemic when they didn't have to go to school ever.

One educationally exempt teenager spoke to Grace Under Pressure and revealed, " Just like at school I've got a timetable for the next day off due to AWOL teachers. First of all there will be no such thing as morning. I plan to sleep right through that. I've got an single period of checking my socials and posting a couple of Tik Toks. Double Mine Craft then I mosie on down to the shops and grab a Maccy D or maybe if i'm feeling worr out I'll just order in a deliveroo. Watch a video. Double Snapchat me mates. Then Call of Duty to round out the day."








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