16th February Salmon, Sturgeon then Plaice?

 

In (heart) breaking news for lovers of fish named politicians, Nicola Sturgeon has announced that should the public not accept the results of her referendum to quit, she is quite prepared to go to the high court to challenge their decision.

Described as a once in a generation occurance, in the highly unlikely event that the majority of her fellow countryfolk are not glad to see the back of her and try to force her to remain, the first Minister of Scotland has revealed that she will simply ignore their wishes and put in a second, third and if required fourth resignation letter, if that is what it takes.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own celtic correspondent, Ms Sturgeon revealed, "I am not vain enough to think that just because I have said I am going that the majority of people of Scotland will actually let me go but I am determined to seek my autonomy to make an uninformed decision to seek my independence and freedom!!!!"

"Even if a suitable fish named replacement can't be found, having seen just how much cash Boris Johnson has made in the year since he was kicked out of office, I'm off to rake in the lolly as quickly as I can."



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