31st January Boris goes ballistic


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure can reveal that Great Britain owes its very existance this morning to former PM Boris Johnson who it appears single handedly managed to catch and dissarm a nuclear missile fired at this septered isle by international bad boy Vladimer Putin. Or something like that.

In a fully fictional news story that is in no way, shape or form meant to detract people's attention from a dodgy loan deal for £800,000 facilitated by Richard Sharp,the man who was soon after appointed head of the BBC, Grace Under Pressure spoke exclusively to Ballistic Boris who revealed "Phwoar, Kapow, Whizz, Kripes, Blimey, Gadzukes!"

At the time of going to press, in addition to once again going uninvited to the Ukraine and managing to look more dishevelled than those who have been fighting on the frontline for the past 12 month, rumours are circulating that Boris' next superhero event will be to fly round the world so fast he will actually cause time here in the UK to move forward by one hour on 26th March 2023.

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