27th January Trans Pennine Leeds the way


Chief executive of Trans Pennine railways, Ivan Engine, has issued an unreserved apology to passengers from Manchester after one of their trains accidently reached Leeds, leaving travellers with the unenviable task of spending several hours stranded in a city thats makes Mariupol seem vibrant.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure one unfortunate traveller explained, "Normally the train is either cancelled meaning I can spend the day in Piccaddily station or shopping in the Arndale, or it just gets as far as the moors and the whole carriage just cracks open a bring and share picnic. We all then pretend to all be working from home but with a really bad internet connection. And the views are really lovely."

"It's bad enough having to travel using a company whose name suggests all the passengers are in the middle of some gender identity process but no one ever imagined that the train would actually get to Leeds. And to be honest once was enough. I'm still receiving counscelling for the trauma. No wonder they were so desperate for HS2, I mean who wouldn't want to leave this s&%^*£$e 30 minutes quicker if they could."

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