18th January Police suffer identity crisis

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Mark Rowley was today said to be absolutly flabbergasted that a serving police officer know to all his mates in the station as 'Devious Date Rape Dave' posed a problem to society at large.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own citizen's arrest practitioner, Sir Mark lamented, "If only we had recieved some clues apart from the nine different occasions when his behaviour came to our attention over a 20 year period we might have been able to act. Yes there was that What's App group containing comments that would make serial mysoginist Andrew Tate blush with embarrassment but that's just 'station bants' amongst the lads isn't it."

"We are trained investigative professionals not psychics. We can only work on hard evidence not mere speculation. I mean we can't organise a line up based solely on station nicknames can we. Who do you think would be able to spot the potential sexual predetor from a line up of Smiffy, Tall Tom, Pete the Pervert, Gizza Fag Simon and Bald Barry?"




 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more