10th January The height of luxury


An almost 59 year old man from Hucknall is reported to have thrown caution to the wind and abandoned all sense of reason yesterday by not only putting his heating on for a whole 2 hours but also having the decadent extravagance of running himself a bath.

The man who wished to remain anonymous and who we will therefore call,Titus Achuff, came to this momentous decision in the midst of what might later turn out to be a complete mental breakdown brought on by running the slowest ever 3.5miles through a mud splattered Blidworth Woods that morning

Titus Achuff, who up until this point had been regularly glimpsed by his neighbours wandering around inside his house wearing more layers than an onion, decided that he might as well blow his entire £600 government fuel grant on a luxurious soak in bubble bath infused waters, surrounded by scented candles and a soundtrack of well laid back tunes.

Unaccustomed to such luxury or temperatures, one concerned neighbour was ready to phone the emergency services upon hearing the yelps and squeals emerging from Titas Achuff's bathroom window as he lowered himself into the scalding waters, fearing that he was in fact being assaulted with a deadly weapon.

At the time of going to press, and after 4 hours in the bath, Grace Under Pressure in unable to confirm whether Titas Achuff's extremly wrinkled fingertips will ever be able to type again. Let's hope for the sake of the bloggasphere that they will.

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