2nd November Arse to eat anus in Australia


Whilst Bob Dylan pondered 'how many road must a man walk down before you can call him a man', the great British public are currently asking themselves' how many kangeroo cocks can Matt Hancok eat before he is shown mercy and evicted from the I'm a Celebrity camp.

Hancock who is set to enter the jungle in an attempt to boost his popularity, despite having already been stung once by hidden cameras, is no longer being offered odds by Paddy Power as to how many bush tucker trials he will be made to complete by an unforgiving public.

This is of course assuming Hancock survives the jump from the airoplane as news reaching Grace Under Pressure suggests that just like nurses working on Covid wards at the start of the pandemic, Hancock will also be expected to come face to face with death without any PPE (Protective Parachute Equipment)

Whilst keen to appear in the TV reality show, the actual reality for Matt Hancock is that even before he has set foot in the jungle the chief whip of the Conservative party had declared in no undertain fashion ‘You’re not a celebrity but you can still get out of here’.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more