22nd November There's must be something in the water


With the last minute announcement by the Qatar government that alcohol would not be served at its stadiums during the world cup, Eng-er-land fans have been left distraught at the prospect of having to watch the team play whilst utterly stone cold sober.

Yet amazingly Eng-er-land didn't just manage to play alright, they absolutely battered Iran even without fans needing to watch the game through regulation beer goggles.

Prior to kick off Eng-er-land manager Garath Southgate expressed his worry that without being totally inebriated by alcohol, fans would finally realise that perpertually 'unlucky Eng-er-land were in fact just crap. Amazingly against a team that couldnt even remember the words to their own national anthem, Eng-er-land won.

Like pilgrims returing from Lourdes with bottles of Holy water convinced it will bring about a miracle cure in Auntie Betties arthritis riddled knees, at the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure cannot confirm that Qatar water will be avaialble on tap at the Nottingham Forest ground when the premier league season resumes, in the hope of transforming displays which would driven suporters to drink into ones that would look like an oasis in a desert.


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