6th October Fake thermostat sales reach record high

 


Worried about your other half and children burning through your entire winter energy cap before October is out? Concerned that your next energy bill will match the gross GDP of a developing country? Anxious about convincing your 15 yr old daughter isn't isn't normal to wear just shorts and a T shirt inside the house all year round? Then worry no more. 

Simply buy a fake thermostat that simply shows an ambient indoor temperature that fluctates between 21 and 24 degrees irrespective of whether you can see your breath every time you breathe out or not.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own climatically conscious coreespondent, 42 year old Hucknall resident  Cel Cius, explained his great new idea. "I've given up trying to convince my family that 18 degrees is a perfectly liveable indoor temperature for people who actually dress appropriatly, but its fallen on deaf ears." 

"They claim that if the temperature isn't a double digit number starting with a 2, then it's domestic abuse, and if I even think about suggesting they might put an extra layer on well I am breaching their human rights.Yes it would be lovely to lounge about in flip flops and cotton T shirts all year round but not if I'm having to foot the bill".

"So this new fake thermostat or I like to call it a placebo temperature gauge is just fantastic. It's voice activated just like the missis, so when they shout out they want it to be 24 degrees, the placebo temperature gauge waits for 20 mins and then announces '24 degrees achieved' whilst in reality the boiler hasn't even swtched on. It's magic."

At the time of going to press Grace Undr Pressure is unable to confirm whether this placebo temperature gauge will get Mr Cel Cius into hot water with his family or not.


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