27th October Man starts petition for one week half term holiday

In a move that will surprise no parent with not enough cash to splash to whisk the family off to the Caribbean for two weeks of sun, sea and sand, 40 yrs old Terry Tunstall of Hucknall is demanding that his local education authority reduce the  Autumn half term holiday to a single week and possibly even to a single afternoon.

Having run out of all his own ideas to occupy 2 year old Harvey, 5 year old Dylan and his big sister 8 year old Felicity after only three hours of the first day of half term, Terry is now convinced that he has exhausted all the world wide web has to offer and there are still several days of torment to go.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure a visible frazzled Terry explained, "I don't know what the people in charge of education are thinking giving them two whole weeks out of school. It's just crazy. So far I've discovered that my children, can't paint, sing or dance in time, hate nature, dislike vegan falafals, loathe pumpkin picking, detest treasure trails, don't get museums at all, can't see the point of making sock puppets, have questioned the existance of the Natonal Trust, found the library BORING, were scared at the Petting Zoo and have already seen the entire Disney and Pixar back catalogue. Twice."

"And please don't mention the soft play centre which was like Lord of the Flies all jacked up on e numbers and additives. I've got more bumps and bruises spending 90 minutes there than I did completing the Ultimate Tough Mudder assault course with my drunken mates from work."

"I don't know who the new Secretary of State for Education is going to be but whoever it is, PLEASE, keep my kids in school as much as possible. I'm sure I'd love them a whole lot more if you did."

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