24th October Roll up boosts economy


In a move that economists are predicting might well reverse the entire devastation caused by Trussonomics, the sales of two types of paper are set to soar with news that Boris Johnson might well, God forbid, return to no 10.

With Liz Truss not even finding time to pin her Athena posters up her bedroom, should Bojo and Carrie return to Downing Street, it is almost certain that the £800 a role Lulu Lyte wallpaper than was used to decorate 'Chez Johnson' last time around, will need to be replaced. All at the tax payers expense.

Reported by his BBF Jacob Reese Mogg to be feeling 'ready to rumble' following his three month holiday since being booted out office, the sales of man size Kleenex tissue paper has also soared, with the same people who ejected him now ejecting something very different as a result of the wet dreams they are having about his possible return.

At the time of going Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm that My Johnson has already enquired about whether he can claim a second £115k goverment pension when he is kicked out on his arse after less than a year. Whether Mr Johnson will find it easier lying to a King as opposed to a Queen is also uncertain but he managed to do it to the entire UK so he shouldn't be worried.

And should Mr Johnson decide to pull out, well according to the Natural Contraception Society, after 5, 6 or is it 7 children, that will be a first 




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