1st October Will Starmer do a Keegan?

Being double digits ahead might seems to many to be an unassilable lead, one that suggests that surely the big prize is surely in the bag. Not if your aim in life is to do a Kevin Keegan. 

Remember the glory days of 1996 when with what seemd like an uncatchable lead of 12 points in the Premier League and a glaring open goal infront of them, the black and whites managed to balloon the ball not just wide of the goal, not just out of St James' park but all the way over the river Tyne and hand the title to Manchester United.

Now following the stunning start to Liz Truss' premiership as the Kwartastrophe of a budget has seen morgage rates rocket and the value of the pound in your pocker shrink to tuppence hapenny, further increasing Labour's lead in every single opinion poll, it appears thats Labour are a shoo-in at the next election, doesn’t it? 

Well, it would be except for good old cardboard Keir, the man who had more personality during the pandemic when he couldn't be seen or heard than he does now that he can be. Today Grace Under Pressure predicts just some of the ways that Keir and his government in waiting might find themselves losing against the worse team the Conservatives have ever put out.

Trying to appeal to hard-as-nails northerners and woke lefty liberal wankers in the shires and Home Counties will mean noone knows what the Labour party actually stands for resulting in neither group actually voting for them

Claiming to support trade unions but then telling them not to go on strike for better pay or conditions because it’s terribly inconvenient for the Tory voters we’re trying to woo is bound to be another own goal. So is preventing any of your ministers being seen on a picket line or having a chit chat with the press, unless it's Angeala Raynor's partner in which case what better way to deliver a blow below the belt to your main leadership challenger.

Rather than concentrating on the issues most people find important, like the economy and the NHS, get involved in ideas and concepts only of interest to those with far too much time on their hands and who tweet every single thought that comes into their head without actually thinking.

Have some in party in fighting over whether Labour has gone too left wing or is drifting to the right too much or remainingly stubbornly central The answer is all three, and none of them all at the same time. Simply arguing constantly about where you sit on the political spectrum is one sure way to make people vote for the Tories who at least are out and proud as completely heartless b%$&*$£s.

Just how long can Sir Keir Starmer be more popular that the woman who couldn't have got off to a worst start if she has planned the mother of all financial cockups to start her premiership is the question on every ones lips. Unfortnately with a series of uninspiring speeches that would bore an entire red until dead mining village to tears and TV interviews with Laura Keunnsberg that make Jacob Ress Mogg appear to have his finger on the pulse of contemporary culture, another 5 years of Tory tragedy seems more and more likely.