5th September Body doubles in coronation plot
News just reaching Grace Under Pressure can reveal that her majesty Queen Elizabeth has upped the anti in her attempts not to have to crown the new leader of the Tory party on Tuesday morning.
Initial attempts to say she simply felt unwell did not deter either candidate, with both promising to find room in their busy diaries to attend the ceremonial bash at Buckingham Palace, unlike an interview with Nick Robinson. Even a midnight flit to another country, albeit it only Scotland, has failed to deter the power hungry couple who have even promised to travel on the much maligned Avanti West Coast trains in order to reach Balmoral. Or was it Balamory?
Now in a last desperate attempt not to have to install either 'Zippy' or 'Bungle' as Britain's new Prime Minister, the Queen has gone off grid and is rumoured to be employing at least three body doubles, including Helen Mirren, to throw them off the scent.
At the time of going to press Paddy Power were unable to give clear odds as to who might win the Tory leadership race but did suggest that given her majesties renowned survival skills, Mehgan Markle and Prince Harry have more chance of bumping into the Queen over the next few days than either Rishi Sunak or Liz Truss.

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