28th September Elf and safety gone mad



A 32 year woman from Hucknall, who is outraged when shops start to display their range of Halloween goodies in shops before the month of October has actually started, is secretly pleased as punch with herself that she has already managed to complete all her preperations for Christmas and New Year.

Beth Smallbone who hates the Americanisation of Halloween and thinks everyone needs to calm down about it, has already bought her Christmas presents, written her cards and put up her tree. Family members report rolls of wrapping paper started appearing in the house as early as June and the first fairy light flickered into life in August, making a complete mockery of the energy crisis

“I hate the way Halloween seems to come earlier every year and has become so commercial,” Beth said whilst squeezing her entire family into newly purchased Elf outifts and feeding them with a slice of Stollen. “It’s all fake blood, bats and witches hats that appear in the shops at the start of September,  why do they have to start so early?” "she continued," pausing only to plug in the fake snow machine and inflate the reindeer and sleigh for the roof of here house. "Don't people know there is a proper time and place that that sort of nonsense."

 


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