27th September Levelling up with Kwasi Kwartang


Less than two weeks in position and Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kwasi Kwantang, has really thrown his weight behind the government policy of levelling up by trying to bring parity between the pound and the dollar.

Whilst many thought that the new cabinet would aim to score some easy wins with limited targetted measures in the north of the United kingdom in areas of health, education or transport , Mr Kwartang has shown that this really is a new dawn by setting his sights much higher in his attempts to level up by taking on the world money markets .

A government spokesperson spoke exclusively to deny rumours that the economy was in such a bad state that the dodgy looking bloke trying to sell two pounds for a dollar from a Luis Vitton suitcase on Richmond Market was in fact former chancellor Rishi Sunak.

At the time of going to press Grace Under Presure is unable to confirm that by next weekend Mr Kwartang will have achieved his next aim of making the British pound worth just as much as a box of Monopoly money. But with this government's new economic policies it's highly likely.

We are however able to verify that Steven Spielberg has already been in touch with Mr Kwartang over the rights to turn his fiscal frolicks into a Christmas blockbuster entitled 'Honey I shrunk the Quids'


 

 

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