24th September The effects of a fiscal event


The sighs of relief were palpable up and down the length of the shires and Home Counties today, after Kwasi Kwarteng's budget revealed that the gap between the rich and poor just got that little bit wider, ensuring that those right at the very top of social ladder would just about make it through the long winter.

Bankers, those about to buy 1st, 2nd or 3rd homes / bech bungalows valued at a penny less than £250,000 and everyone who earns more than £150,000 a year will all benefit loads in the latests budget that was not a budget.

Explaining how the changes will benefit, sorry affect him, millionaire business man and life long blue (that's Tory voter not Manchester City fan ) Fucktha Poor, revealed, "Yes it was a relief to know that we will now get through the winter without laying off the stand by nannie, part time pillow plumper or life style coach for 4 year old Tarquin and Bella."

"It's just taken the edge of some of those realy difficult decisions one might have had to make like will it be Aruba, Antigua or the Algarve for our three month winter break? And indeed closer to home it's going to help out too. I mean no one like to swim in their own indoor heated swimming pool if the temperature of the water is only tepid do they?"

"Good old Kwasi, managing to do a complete U turn on the economic policies of the last 12 years and yet still managing to ensure that the rich get richer and the poor get, well no better off at all really."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm whether the final episode of Frozen Planet II is to feature Kwasi Kwanteng's heart but we suspect it very well could.



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