14th September Britain goes primevil

In times of great upheaval it is often difficult to know how you as an individual can offer a tribute that is both fitting but also in keeping with the rest of society. This is the scenario many citizens of Great Britain found themselves in following the death of Queen Elizabeth II last week. 

Thankfully for all of us, evolution has come to the rescue and at a time when higher brain functions have been rendered useless by grief and the droning monotone of Nicholas Witchell's voice 24/7, the more primevil subconscious brain patterns emerge. This almost prehistoric response has seen huge swathes of the British population do what we as a nation do best...queue.

Starting in the far north of these sceptred isles, in the land of the Scottish, grief-stricken residents together with visiting tourists have assembled to form a queue. One such resident of Edinburgh, Ivor Sporan, spoke exclusivly to Grace Under Pressure. "The moment I heard the news on Thursday about the death of a woman I knew very little about, had never met and who didn't even know I existed, I felt something change deep inside of me. Then I heard that lovely Hugh Edwards say that people had started to gather and I was just overcome with a primal instict to go and be part of a queue."

"First I queued to catch a not very good view of a car drive up a faily steep gradient, something I could have seen much better on television. Apparently there were some famous people walking behind the car but I was too busy taking a selfie to notice. Then I queued to walk into a building I wouldn't normally be seen dead in. It didn't matter that I was only inside for 2minutes, the 5 hours I had stood suffling forward inch by inch at the speed of a glacier was time well spent. I think the highlight was getting to chat to loads of people about the weather and the next series of Strictly Come Dancing. And some of the tutting and heavy sighing I've heard was absolutely top drawer."

"Even my nine year old son Hamish didn't mind getting out of bed at 4am to come and join the queue, although normally he would only consider doing such a thing if it involved a death defying thrill ride such as you find at Atlton Towers or a trip to Disneyland at the end of it. But even he enjoyed queuing for 5 hours to see a box covered with a flag." 

"Apparently there are people down in London queuing to put flowers in a park. I like to think of Her Majesty looking down on us with her imperceptible smile of approval as we snake through the small hours complaining, shoving, barging, elbowing and tutting. It makes me so proud to be British."