11th September Amazon on the brink


Ecological experts have this morning concluded that the very existance of the Amazon rainforest is on the brink after the Daily Mail felled most of it to produce its 8,425page souvenier supplement following Queen Elizabeth's death on Thursday.

Tentativly titlted 'Liz: Lots',  several previously unknown tribes have been revealed for the very first time after almost every tree in the entire Amazin basin was raised to the ground in order to make the supplement. The world's ink supply is also in danger as is the actual Daily Mail itself who cannot possibly hope to avoid bankrupcy for such a gargantuan edition that will still cost only £1.80

Health and safety experts have advised anyone planning to collect their copy of the Mail On Sunday in person today to think twice and only to do so if you can to 'borrow' a supermarket trolley, fork lift truck or couple of rugby second row forwards to help lift it.

The final nail in the coffin for the Amazon is expected to be on Sunday 18th September, the day before the funeral,  when the special edtion of the Mail on Sunday is expected to contain the full transcript of every interview ever carried out with anyone who has every met, seen or heard of the Queen.

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