6th August Rishi's reverse Robin Hood


Remodelling himself as the antithesis of Robin Hood, one who steals from the poor in order to give to the rich, leadership contender Rishi Sunak has found support within the Tory heartland sky rocket.

With the leaking of  footage showing the former Chancellor explain with great cunning how he literally took money from the poor to give to the rich, hundreds of thousands of Tory party members have felt a tear come to their eye.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, long time true blue, Iyvgot Nosoul, mused whistfullly, "Some folks get tearful watching Eilish Mccolgan or Katerina Johnson Thompson come good at the Commonwealth Games but when I heard that Rishi Sunak had deliberately funnelled taxpayers money away from deprived areas of urban squalar that clearly needed it, to wealthy Tory suburbs that were already swimming in cash, like Tunbridge Wells, well I felt quite overwhelmed." 

“This is just the type of person we want as our leader and Prime Minister to restore pride back to the party. Someone who ensures that the fat cats get fatter whilst the f^%*$d get even more f^%*$d is just what this party needs. For a moment whilst watching the footage I thought I felt my heart swell with pride until I realised that as a Conservative, my hard stone cold heart can't swell

“I used to favour Liz Truss, but she's been very vague about how she will punish the poor, with these Hokey Cokey policies that are in one minutre then out the next, whereas Rishi has been brutal and just gone straight for the jugular. Now I'm 'Ready for Rishi'. I only hope that he keeps his election promise and doesn't suddenly develop a conscience and start to give a shit about anywhere or anyone that isn’t middle class or obscenely rich.”


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