30th August Panic as BBC runs out of numbers


In breaking news Grace Under Pressure is the first to reveal that with the constant rise in the energy price cap, BBC News will officially run out of numbers by the end of August. 

In a bulletin on Monday evening news anchor Sohphie Rayworth began with the lead headline that the energy price cap stood at a predicted average figure of £4,560 per year. Yet even before videos of people in Bradford, Southapton and Wales showed turning on ridiculously large gas rings to heat up very very small small pans of water had ended, the price had gone up to a potential £6,950 a year.

A quick chat over the desk with financial editor, Ivsome Savings, and the cost of boiling a kettle had jumped dramaticaly to an eye watering £14.50 whilst running a bath was expected to cost over £120. Sophie Rayworth barely had chance to talk about the Ukraine before the price gap had gone up again to a predicted £14,000 a month and at the end of a report by flac jacket wearing Orla Gearie from the war torn streets of Liverpool, this figure had already doubled.

Even the weather was not immune from this rampant and reckless number inflation with Rayworth voice audibly interupting Tomas Schaffenaker's attempt to bring a little sunshine into our lives by shouting across the studio, 'It's gone up to three thousand pound a day, no five thousand, no eleven thousand pounds a day. Help I'm running out of numbers!!'

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