25th August Harry Maguire makes a Bolt for it


Following in the footsteps of Usain Bolt, Manchester United's Harry Maguire has decided he needs to protect his image rights as intellectual property by trademarking his signature pose...slapping the palm of his open hand or sometimes both hands against his forehead, known colloquially as the Face Palm

Whilst Bolt's iconic pose was one associated with his many victories, word records and jaw dropping feats of atheltic ability, Harry Maguires Face Palm' image is one connected with moments on the pitch when he scored an own goal, gave away a panalty, stood with the wrong team in the tunnel or sent a superb 50 yard pass to a ball boy.

Life long Stretford End boy, Weewuz Robbed, lamented "Shelling out a world record £80 million pounds to Leicester back in 2019 we really hoped he would possess a unique skill set. Unfortunatly he does, it isn't quite the one we expected of  professional footballer. Apparently he is completly porous, made from the most porous substance known to science. Everything passes through him, air, water, the Brentford attack he literally can't stop anything."

"So although he's not been a great success within the actual beautiful game itself, the marketing team at Old Trafford envisage the Maguire logo being a real coup, one that could be copied up and down the land in a variety of setting by people who have made a real dog's dinner of something that should be so simple. It's already caught on with the fans who all do it in uinison as soon as his name is announced on the tea sheet."I mean just think for £5 million pound less we could have got Virgil Van Dyke (sound of repeated face palming accompanied this statement)


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