19th August Just not clever enuff


Thousands of A student have woken up this morning to discover they were not the clever cloggs they thought they were after receiving realistic results. 

Many looked back to with a sense of great nostalgia to the halcyon days of Covid when Gavun Williamson has his finger on the pulse of the nations education system and teachers gave everyone an A * for every 'O' subject because that was the easiest thing to do 

Speaking in an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, 18 year old student, Imin Clearing, who hoped to go to the University of Pontefract to do a degree in 'Nail Polish ' revealed, "It was a real shock to realise that I actually had to remember stuff I'd been taught. And there was no internet so I couldn't google the answer or phone my best friend Milly who is actually quite bright."

"Whilst I am disappointed in the results that I have got, which in no way make me more stupider than I actually am, mean I might not get in at my first choice to drink away three years and end up with tens of thousands of pounds of debt. Hopefully I should still be able to get a place at Hucknall University to do a degree in 'Social Influencing' or the Stoke College of quite High education to study 'the lyrics of Robbie Williams.'

"I'm not suggesting that the standards have changed but last year my brother didn't even do any A levels and he got the grades to go to Cambridge!"

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