17th August This years Christmas bestseller


Worried that another episode of 'Wagatha Christie' might not appear in your favourite tabloid for a while then fear no more. In a world exclusive Grace Under Pressure is able to bring you a sneak preview of the book everyone looking for love will be reading this Christmas, yes its 'Relationships by Ryan Giggs'. After all why flounder in the darkness when you could be learning for the man who is a real hit (allegedly) with the ladies. 

Faithfulness: Start off every relationship as you mean to carry on, by carrying out other relationship at the same time. I mean why restrict access to yourelf to just one other person. That would be just selfish. Instead sleep around with anyone foolish enough to consider you a good catch. And don't forget, getting off with your brother's girlfriend is a target to aim for. Never mind that goal against Arsenal in the FA Cup semi final, scoring when you play away from home is what matters.

Be possesive: Why settle for being possessive just with the football when you can do it with your partner. Don't settle for living a disciplined, rigid, controlled lifestyle yourself, insist that your partner does too. Not out of choice but through cohersive and manipulative behaviour. Don't let your partner have any frinds or a life of their own. Control every movement, repeatedly ask questions such as 'where have you been?' or 'who have you been with?' send 60 texts a minute and constantly try to check your partners phone and e mails. Try to convince them that an ankle tag is the latest must have fashion accessory

Channel your inner Olivia Newton John and get physical: Be transformed from the man who would fall over when playing football if the wind blew the wrong way to someone who is suddenly keen to practise moves normally seen on in the World Wrestling Entertainment. And if it all gets a little bloody well, remember accident do happen especially if you're a famous footballer who likes the odd gagging order.

Play the fame game: Just remind people how you won 13 Premier League winner's medals, four FA Cup winner's medals, three Leage Cup winner's medals, two UEFA Champions League winner's medals, a FIFA club World Cup winners medal, an Intercontinental Cup winner's medal, a UEFA Super Cup  winner's medal, nine FA Community Shield winner's medals and the Prestatyn Keepie Uppy competition for three years running.


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