14th August Ditherering Daisy's difficult dilemma

 

A dithering voter has been thrown into an even great state of indecision after hearing of the latest offers made by the two leadership contenders in the top of the table Tory tussle. 57 yr old Daisy Dandelion of Hucknall spoke exclusively to Grace Under Pressure about the difficult dilemma daunting her daily.

"Oh it's so hard," she began, "when I am being promised so many different things by the two people still left in the race. I was going to vote for Liz Truss after she said she would cut my taxes, but then Rishi Sunak said he was going to get inflation down which would certainly help me with the cost of living. Liz came back with an offer of going the whole nine yards for the poor whereas Rish only promised them a month of Sundays."

"I'd almost completed my ballot paper after Ms Truss promised me the moon on a stick only for Mr Sunak to hit back by saying if I voted for him I would be able to piss into the wind and not get wet. Oh it's so confusing. Liz says Rishi's promise of magic beans is a lie whilst he says her claim that she is 'better than the real thing' is just pure spin by her PR team. I really don't know what to do. I mean at least you could believe every single word Boris said."


 


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