9th July Boris prepares for new career


With journalism having decided the job wasn't quite for him, the city of London having breathed a collective sigh when he left office and now the Tory party (and nation) having dumped him out of both job, home and wedding celebration venue, keen observors in Westminster might have caught a sneak previw of Boris Johnson's next career move

Having been able to make what he thinks is a top class cabinet from people who for the past two and a half years he not only deemed not good enough for a cabinet post, but didn't even know their names, food analysts are wondering if Boris would be able to do the same thing for those living in food poverty by utilising all those forgotten things at the back of a store cupboards, drawers and fridges to make a palatable dish just like Ainsley Harriott.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, conservative calorie counter, Eton Mess revealed, "If Boris can take one Robert Buckland, add in a dollop of Greg Clark, Kit Malthouse and James Cleverly, season with a dash of Shailesh Vara, a twist of Andrew Stevenson and a smidge of any one of three Education secretaries to form his top team cabinet, then surely he can do the same with a corgette, some baked beans and an oxo cube. After all already know he made a right old dog's dinner out of truth, honesty and intergrity."



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