7th July Why the man who did Brexit just can't Exit


In breaking news Microsoft spokesman, Ivan Appforthat, has revealed that according to the companies  latest statistical analysis and algorhythms , the most widely used app in its Office portfolio, is the new template called' the Pincher' one that can be used to enable ministers and behind the scenes minnions to draft a resignation letter from the Conservative govenment.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, Ivan Appforthat explained, "Only launched earlier this week, the download rate has been remarkable especicallly within the offices in the Houses of Parliament. At one point it was almost one an hour. Designed to be perfect for sinking ships deserting a rat, the basic resignation template of 'The Pincher' comes with online help from office assistant Clippy, who has recently updated its databases with a stunning new collection of rhetorical put downs, withering one liners and character assasinating cliches. Plus it has the usual speeling and grandmar checks to ensure that when leaked to social media and the press it doesn't look as if its been typed by a dyslexic teenager."

Ivan Appforthat also revealed that Microsoft is in the late development stage for a template in which prospective Tory leadership candidates can try to explain why they defended the indefencible for so long when supporting the man who got Brexit done but who can't seem to realise it now time to get his own Exit done.

 


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