2nd July Whipping up a sexual storm


Members of the union for Professional Gropers and Occasional Bottom Pinchers have called for immediate action today after the shocking revelation that one of their high ranking members have been discovered to be a closet Conservative MP. And one with a whip to boot. 

This only came to light after the man in question had one to many lager and lime shandies down at the Carlton Club in central London where he is said to have aurally assaulted other guests with his admiration for Liz Truss' unwavering support for the PM, Priti Patel's fashion sense and Jacob Rees Mogg traditional Victorian values.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own whipping boy, union spokesman, Ima Pest, lamented "We did have our suspicions in the past when he seemed to hint he thought Theresa May was doing 'alright considering' during the early part of Brexit, but there was no real hard evidence to prove it. Now he has revealed his hand which as personal space predators is something we try very hard not to do"

"We have certains standards and would expect all our members to behave like that exemplary role model Kevin Spacey. And so to find that someone has dragged our name both onto the front pages of the national newspapers and also into the gutter is deplorable. He will have to resign immedialty as a result of his deviant lifestyle choices and now obvious perversion."



 

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