26th July Mo reasons to stay

Coastguards along the south of Engand coast line have reported a bout of bizzare behaviour from new arrivals in this country, illegally trafficked across the channel by people smugglers.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure, RNLI spokesperson, Shi Prek revealed. "We've seen people lining up on the side of the boat almost as if they were in a swimming race before plunging over the side into the icy waters to then thrash their way to shore. The first one on dry land then instantly removes the rubber cap from his or her head before slapping their hand repeatedly on the surface of the water whilst hooping and whooping like an excited child."

"Other are waiting until their feet touch the sandy shores before beginning to run up and down the beach over and over again for approximatly, 5km, 10km or in some instances even a full marathon as fast as they can. One or two families have been seen taking it in turns to run, passing a piece of washed up driftwood to one another as they do so. A select few have been seen engaged in a different activity, one that sees them drawing a line in the sand and then seeing which of them can just the furthest. It's all very strange."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to confirm the link between this bizarre behaviour and news that calls to a trafficking charity's helpline have increased almost 20% after Sir Mo Farah revealed that he had been allowed to obtain British citizenship, despite having been brought to the UK illegally as a child, because he could run really, really fast!