25th July Liz channels Benn


Following the demise a few months ago of David McKee, creator of the beloved 1970's children's TV show Mr Benn, insiders at Westminster seem convinced that in a supernatural act that even clairvoyant Derek Acorah did not see coming, Liz Truss is actually channeling the spirit of the dead cartoon character as she hits the hustings in a variety of increasing wierd and wonderful outfits.

Appearing to spend far more time planning what she is going to wear rather than what is going to come out of her mouth, Ms Truss is expected to appear up and down the land dresses as a red knight, hunter, clown, balloonist, wizard, spaceman, cook, caveman, zoo keeper, diver, cowboy, Aladdin, pirate and a gladiator. Those lucky enough to get to hear Ms Truss twice in the same ocation will be blessed with seemless costume changes, (as opposed to seemless costumes) that would put Lady GaGa to shame

Visiting the north of England Ms Truss is expected to wear clogs, a shawl and carry a whippet tucked under one arm, whilst in Wales a leek and a sheep are rumoured to feature. For any visits to Scotland it will be something hideous in tartan that makes Nicola Sturgeon like like a fashion icon, whist any visit over to Northern Ireland will give Liz Truss a chance to show off those world famous diplomatic skills that she has demonstrated as Foreign Secretary though her choice of a simple black balaclava.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more