22nd July The Liz Truss six week transformation begins


Fresh from her stunning achievement of coming second place in a three horse race, Liz Tuss woke up this morning to begin the next step in transforming herself into Margaret Thatcher. 2.0

Having dipped her toes in the waters of a 24hr makeover during the recent TV debates in which she tried to convince the nation that 1980's fashions were actually back in fashion, earlier today she spoke to Martha Kearney on the Today program to catagorically deny she was attempting to turn into the Iron Lady, 

“Aside from wearing identical clothes, trying to speak deeper, less hastily, quoting St Francis of Assissi like she did and slowly but surely achieving the same hairstyle, I am in no way trying to emulate Margaret Thatcher,” she insisted.

"As my political record will show I am certainly a woman who is not for turning. Well apart from that video of me as a 19 year old fervant anti monarchist at University compared to today when I am the Queen's biggest supporter. Oh yes and turning from being a Liberal Democrat into a Conservative and then turning from a Remainer onto a Brexiteer. Apart from that I don't think I have turned once."

When pressed by Martha Carney to highlight the one issue that could that could prove decisive in her bid to beat Rishi Sunak and become leader of the Conservative Party, Ms Truss did not regurgitate the usual lines about tax, the NHS, the ecomony or even Brexit. Instead she took a little trip down memory lane and suggested that perhaps if a foreign power, a little bit like Argentina, were to invade some islands, a little bit like the Falklands, then that would be the perfect opportunity to ride around the UK in a tank which would be a sure fire vote winner."


 

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