20th July Generations United


There is nothing like the' hottest day ever' to bring different generations together as to what or should that be who is to blame for the current climatic chaos.

76 yrs old Kelvin Degrees was quick to point the finger of blame at the small and perpetually angry Greta Thunberg. Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own damp depression, he explained, "The environmentally conscious Swede is responsible for the current heatwave based on the fact that she predicted it was going to happen. You think its just a coincidence that she starts to talk about it and then suddenly it happens. Conspiracy things like that only happen in the movies."

"I think when historians look back at her they will take a very dim view of her prophesising this catastrophy into being. We never had any of this hot weather before she came along and just made it all happen by talking about it. And now where is she, yes thats right living way up north up in Skandiland or Ikea or one of those countries where its all really chilled and lovely. I don't call that living on the front line, do you? She should try living in Hucknall. If I tried to take an afternoon off school to sit outside the local council offices with somethign scribbled on an empty cardboard box, there would be hell to pay." 

16 year old Faren Height cast her accusing digit in the same direction, pointing the finger of blame firmly at Sir David Attenboough. "It only since he started chasing all those poor Polar bears with his film crews that the ice caps have started melting. Probably due to their massive carbon footprints. And all to try and get more BAFTA's than Ant and Dec. Now that's just selfish. Does he have to be on TV all the time. It's just look at me, look at me, look at me. He's on the gogglebox more than Rylan and that's saying something. I know where I would shove all those micro plastics if he ever tried to film my mating habit for a Sunday night documentary!!"

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