17h July Beat the heat by finding an Oasis


A state of regional panic has been declared in the north of England after meterologist announced an extreme weather warning for next week. 

Whilst large parts of the country are busy taking precations against the expected 40 degree temperatures, residents of Manchester are reported to be experiencing extreme levels of anxiety as they face up to the nightmare scenario that there will be absolutely no rain on Monday and Tuesday next week.

Speaking exclusively to Grace Under Pressure, resident Mancunian and singer in part time Oasis tribute band, Lame Gallager revealed, "Sun-shiiiiiiine is f&%$*£g mint innit but its gonna ruin the summer if we have two days wi' no rain. People travel from half a world away cause they 'ave a bang to rights guarantee that the weather in Manc is going to be rank." 

"It's in all the guidebooks, come to Manchester and get soaked. Even in July. Now we 'ave the threat of 48 hours wi' no rain at all. It's all gonna kick off big time. I'm just hoping Andy Burham can sort it out with another of his miracles."







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