22nd June Thomas goes completly off the rails

In a unilateral act of defiance that has threatened to split the world of animated toy trains in two, Thomas the Tank engine has dared to break union orders by chuff chuffing his way across picket lines to work as normal yesterday

A tank engine who normally operates in Sodor, with his six small wheels, short stumpy funnel, boiler and dome, Thomas has always always had a bit of a complex about his position in life and has long been regarded by the others as a fussy little engine with ideas above his station. 

Yesterday the other engines could not conceal their fury that Thomas had broken ranks. "Scab", puffed Edward and Henry. "Blackleg", whistled Gorden and James. "Dirty Rat", screached Percy and Toby whilst Belle, Rosie and Lady just hissed, unable to put their thoughts into words at this act of train track trechery.

The Fat Controller, who because of a politically woke cancel culture, now has to be refered to as the 'excessive calorie consuming, mass enhanced, work organiser and facilitator' spoke to Grace Under Pressures and revealed, " Oh it's because of his elevated status in the eyes of the general public, Thomas is already on significantly higher wages than the rest of the other engines, so he isn't fussed about a pay rise."

"Add in the money from merhcandise, image rights and the fact that he's best mates with an ex Beatle and sometimes Thomas' attitude just makes steam come out of my ears. But this, well this has almost caused me to blow a gasket!"To be honest I always thought Thomas was a bit of a Tory boy, I mean I don't think he's painted THAT colour by accident do you? It's obviouls now that he's just been further back in the sidings than Kelly Holmes has been in the closet."



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