12th May Born to be king


Emergency services were called to SW1A 0AA on Tuesday after a 70 yr old pensioner called Charlie chained himself to an ornate chair in some form of inheritance protest. Normally used to ungluing the hands of Extinction Rebellion protestors off train carriages, chief fire officer, Ivor Bighose, spoke exclusivly to Grace Under Presure from the site.

"It all seemed to be going smoothly when he just snapped. He was about half way through quite a dull monlogue when he suddenly started to say "Oh my mummy says this, my mummy says that, when do people get to hear what I have to bloody say" and with that he reached across to the cushion beside him picked up the crown, jammed it on his head and started to shout, "Look Camilla it fits, it fits". Next thing we knew he had handcuffed himself to the chair and with the other was furiously wielding a giant mace as if he were Obi One Kinobee whilst singing ' I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascals'

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure can confirm that Charlie has remained sat on the throne for the best part of 44 hours and Royal commentators think its only a matter of time before this really does turn into a dirty protest.


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