10th May Keir's korma conundrum

The picture that caught Keir

Just when he thought he was finally developing a personality that would resonate with the great British public, after revelations that he likes a beer and a curry just like the man / woman on the street, Sir Keir Starmer's image, if indeed he ever had one, has taken another bashing.

Having cancelled a planned appearance on Monday afternoon at an event organised by the Institute for Government (IoG) think tank, in order to offer an exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, Sir Keir, the man who still appears to unable to land a punch on the worst government of all time, laid bare the whole truth about his shocking Durham dinner dilemma

"Yes I can confirm that after a long day campaigning during which three people actually regognised who I was, I celebrated with the local Labour party by having a chicken tika masala curry. Only without the tika or indeed the masala because that just plays havoc with my insides for days afterwards. It was the same when I mistakenly tried an onion bhagi that Angela had offered me at the party conference. God I was s%$$%&g for days after that." 

"So yes just to clarify for the record I had chicken, just plain old chicken. Boilded not fried. Oh yes and a nan, a very very plain nan all washed down with oh at least two small cans of Coors Extra Light non alcoholic beer. After which I felt quite giddy and so had to go and have a lie down".

The Labour leader is now expected to resign after letting down not just himself and his family but members of the far left of the Labour Party who have been quick to point out that Jeremy Corbyn was never such a lightweight liability but a real man who often ended party meetings by consuming the hottest vindaloo available, three extra large garlic nans, at least 50 spicy poppadoms and a whole keg of Tiger beer.


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