7th April Let the build up to the battle begin


In breaking news it has been revealed that England's opening group game against Iran at the 2022 World Cup will be shown live on the BBC. Gareth Southgate's side are in action on the opening day of the tournament in Qatar on Monday, 21 November and armchair experts are already predicting that the live build up to the game will begin in the purpose build desert studio around October.

Grace Under Pressure understands that Gary Linekar, Alan Shearer, Ian Wright and co are already undergoing rigerous training to toughen up their posteriors, ready for 24/7 presenting in a location where it is guaranteed that sand will get into every nook, crannny and crevice.

This arse 'ardening is in order to be ready for the marathon build up to each and every England game in which the minimal amout of information will be stated repeated and then regurgitated by innumerable people, some of whom once thought they saw Raheem Sterling in the street. And all before what is almost certainly going to be 90 minutes of tedium, that will then be dissected, discused, analysed and interpreted for hours afterwards.

Unfortunatly for 'football' fans, the state of the opposition England are due to face in the group stages might actually mean we get to the initial knockout games by which time the armchair pundits will have hyped our national team up not just to be red hot favourites for this competition but to also be recognised as the best team ever. Until we lose to Serbia, Cameroon or the team from the Dog and Duck.

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