16th April The Holy Trinity resign


In breaking news, Grace Under Pressure can confirm that following the resignations of Decency and Credibility late last night, the third member of the Holy Trinity, Compassion, has also handed in its notice at No 10. This has come as a shock to many people who thought Compassion had never ever been employed there in the first place, and if it was, then only on a very limited, possibly zero hours contract.

Speaking to BBC's out going (and isn't she just) political editor Laura Keunnesberg, Credibility revealed "It was only a matter of time when Boris Johnson became Prime Minister before I knew I would find myself out of a job. I was always going to be badly compromised although not as badly as Matt Hancock in that stationary cupboard I have to admit. I mean who needs good old credibility when you can simply deny all the evidence of wrong doing against you."

A clearly shaken Decency added: 'To think the rest of the country followed Boris Johnson's advice with many thousands unable to even gather to see relatives and loved ones dying. And all whilst he and his cronies were partying like it was 1999 to quote the Prince song."
 
Then today Compassion also quit. Fighting back the tears Compassion explained, "I thought I was in with a chance of holding onto my job. You know with all these efforts to rescue dogs from Afghanistan and the offer of homes to people from Ukraine providing they can cut through a Gorgons knot of red tape and beurocracy. But then the decision to send asylum seekers and refugees to the Rhonda was the final straw. What has an already decimated former mining community done to deserve that I ask you? It's just inhumane to everyone concerned."

All three members of the Holy Trinity have confirmed that they have cut all ties with the current government and are taking legal steps to ensure the split remains permanent or at least until there is a change of administration. At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is regretfully able to confirm that Greed, Contempt and Arrogance, will all remain in post with prospect of promotion at the next cabinet reshuffle being highly likely.


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