12th April Man is right on cue to join queue


Following extensive news reports of delays at all UK airports, intrepid traveller, Ivor Map, decided to avoid the carnage by planning to arrive well ahead of the three hour check in period designated adequate in order to negotiate check in, customs, immigration and walk the four miles to the appropiate boarding gate.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressure's very own long time line joiner, Ivor Map revealed, “It's been a really difficult two years what with one thing and another, but mainly with the other. And so we deiced that as soon as it was possible we would treat ourselves to a family holiday with a couple of weeks away in the sun. We are really looking forward to getting on a plane again and having a nice relaxing break." 

"We've just brought hand luggage which has been prebooked. We have made sure we have all our documents in order. We have taken Lateral Flow tests even though legally we don't have too. The kids have got their screens so they won't get bored. I have even triple checked that all our liquids are less than 100ml and are all in a see through zippable plastic bag. It's gonna be a real adventure."

When asked by our intrepid reporter if he wasn't worried about leaving all the good weather behind as April has a reputation for being an unseasonally warm month in the UK, Ivor Map looked rather puzzelled. "Going away in April? he replied, "no mate this is the queue for flights leaving in August. If I get to be frisked at security by June I'll count myself lucky."

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