9th March Chocolate confusion causes customer chaos


A 58 yr old man who wishes to remain anonymous is today preparing to take Cadbury's Chocolate to the highest court of in the land in an attempt to prove that demands placed upon him by their products are not just an infringement on his civil liberties, personal freedom and human rights but are actually impossible to achieve.

"Some boffin who has obvioulsy never left his laboratory and lived in the real world, is urging chocolate lovers to eat just half the bar with what they are calling mindful snacking," the man explained. "What's that supposed to be about I ask? With new packaging that is supposedly resealable, all my favourites such as Boost, Double Decker, Dairy Milk and Wispa will use a specialy developed  ‘memory technology solution’ that locks the wrapper with a twist. I mean what sort of a sadist came up with that nonesense."

"Even Jesus wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to finish it all in one go and he was pretty good at that kind of stuff. Resealable, who are they trying to kid? And as if the idea of resealing it to eat later wasn't crazy enough, they then went onto say that if you’re feeling extra generous, why not share with friends and family. Share chocolate, now thats just mental."

This is not the first time that this Nottingham based nibbler has confronted the giant of the food industy having already brought legal claims against Angel Delight for the 'blatent untruth', that a packet of its strawberry flavoured sugary treat contains four servings or that a large pack of Doritos Chilli Heatwave crisps are meant to feed an entire family.


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