8th March Putting pressure on Putin


Having done your bit for the Ukraine by donating to the DEC Humanitarian appeal all the tat your local charity shops refused to take, perhaps you are now wondering just how you can personally put pressure on Putin, worry no more. Today Grace under Pressure offers some handy dandy tips on how you can help turn the screws on the Soviet psychopath

Take Tchaikovsky off your turntable Strike a blow for freedom by refusing to listen to any Stravinsky, Borodin, Tchaikovsky, Rimsky-Korsakov, Mussorgsky, Rachmaninoff , Prokofiev, Shostakovich, replacing it instead with Pussy Riot played at ear bleeding volume. This aural assault will surely put Vlad the bad/mad in a terrible spin.

Temper the tipples for your tasty treats  When shopping in Waitrose to find supplies for your frozen vodka jellies, that are all the rage at the local PTA meeting, avoid popping a bottle of Stolichnaya, Tsarskaya, Green Mark or even Smirnoff vodka into your shopping trolley. Instead slip a Grey Goose, Nemirof, Zirkova or Dimas in their instead. It will all go lovely with chit chat about the latest outstanding Ofstead report and help reduce the shock that your 4x4 will soon cost £11 per mile to drive.

Give your Latvian au pair a pay rise Whilst not actually coming from Ukraine, Latvia is a former member of the USSR so it's almost the same place, you can start to pay your Latvian au pair the minimum wage for the 20 hours a day she waits on you, your wife and your feral children.

Divest your investment portfolio Whilst you did manage to snap up those shares in Gazprom, Yandex and Lada at a bargain price it is now time to bite the bullet and ignore reports that their price could treble within the next six month as shortages start to hit home. Instead put your money into North Korean nuclear testing or Chinese virus production.

Downgrade the box and stand on the terrace Although it might seem a little extreme, you know that trading in your company box at Chelsea to go and stand on the terraces at Luton Orient is the ethical thing to do, especially as the Blues probaby won't win anything this year anyway.

Only sail on sustainable superyachts Whilst you can applaud how marvellous it is that Germany and other countries are impounding superyachts, you really don't want to fly for fear of increasing your already HUGE carbon footprint. So next time you fancy a jolly to Dubai, a quick trip to the south of France or a little excursion to the Carribean, make sure that your super yatch is ethically sourced and not from one of your oligarch buddies.



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