19th March Pissed off by pedal power in the Peaks


On a beautiful cloudless day in the glorious surroundings of the Peak District, 56 yr old cyclist, Ima Saddlesore, has created a new national record of having 83 cars behind him as he exercised his right, according to the new highway code, to ride slap bang in the middle of the road.

Clad from head to toe in the latest and brightest flourescent lycra, almost as much planning had gone into this feat of athletic ineptitude as went into Eliot Kipchoge's attempt to break the 2 hr barrier for the marathon a couple of years ago.

Speaking to Grace Under Pressures very own man undergoing a mid life crisis, Ima Saddlesore revealed, “It was a carefully planned route full of twisting, narrow country lanes, with minimal room to pass and no short cuts. Throw in the steep gradient and gorgeous weather with every man and his dog out for a nice drive and it was just perfect for my attempt to get into the Guiness book of world records."

“I knew I was on for something special when I hit that first hill and I could hear the constant beeping behind me almost immediatly. So I made sure to ride in the centre of the road and get up out of the saddle to that they could see my lycra clad arse pumping away in 1st gear for all I was worth. It went on for a good couple of miles by which time the tailback stretched on for ages."

"But all good things come to an end and eventually the road widened out and one after another the cars went passed with passangers and drivers all winding down their window to shout words of encouragement and wave. Some did it with their fists whilst others just used a couple of fingers or in some instances just a single digit. Oh it made me feel so proud to have ruined so many people's days out all in one go."



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