18th March How much do you Truss Boris?


With the news that leaders of three western countries managed to negotiate a hazardous journey by rail from Poland to Kyiv in a show of support as the city came under further Russian attack, questions are being asked as to why Boris Johnson has not even thought about making a similar trip

As the Prime Ministers of Poland, Slovenia and the Czech Republic met Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky earlier this week in Kyiv, UK Prime minister Boris Johnson spoke exclusively to Grace Under Pressure about the multitude of excuses, sorry reasons, he didnt tag along.

"Phwa, wiffle, fwor, gadzuks," he began as if that made everything crystal clear, "Without me appearing in my Hi Viz jacket and hard hat up and down the country, the moral of the entire UK construction industry will collapse and not a single brick will be laid, road tarmacked or green belt conservation area concreted over." 

"Plus March is always a very busy time on Ukrainian Railways so it was impossible to get an extra ticket. And we all know that whilst three is a crowd, four might be considered in some peoples eyes as a 'gathering party event' and I'm in enough trouble already for not knowing, attending, or even hosting several of those at no10."

"And I'm not sure that President Zelensky would have the time to see me as he seems very, very busy at the moment, dodging bombs and assassination attempts whilst still managing to inspire the resistance against Russian forces. And my diary is pretty damn packed too with my planned trip to Saudia Arabia where I will instantly forget their record on human rights if they give us lots of oil."

"No this is definitely a role for Liz Truss especially as she has that furry hat and coat left over from her trip to Russia which in hindsight doesn't seem quite the success that I tried to tell you it was at the time."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6th May Olbia

Image
  A chance to stretch our legs today with our first port of call; Olbia, Sardinia. And it was a quick stretch too due to it being only a five hour stay. Up bright and early, so early in fact that the hot food at the buffet wasn't even ready to be served. Still it gave us a chance to watch the ship glide into port past a host of oyster/mussel beds, before performing a 180 degree turn to reverse into it's berth. A couple of short bus rides later and we were in downtown Olbia. But there an hour or so before anything appeared to open, the disadvantage of being early birds and something we don't seem to learn! Not that Olbia had a great deal to see or maybe if we had done the slightest bit of planning beforehand there might have benn but we didn't. It was pleasant enough but that's about it. It was pleasant enough but nothing special, indeed we were back on the ship after just a couple of hours ashore and then managed to sleep away most of th...
Read more

7th May Naples

Image
 I'm sure I've heard the phrase 'see Naples and die' suggesting that it is perhaps not the nicest location in the Mediterranean but if it's good enough for Diego Maradona fir a few years then it's good enough for me for 10 hours. Although the millions of tax free pounds he was paid might have eased his stay. By the time we got up, washed, dressed and up to The Kitchens, the rest of the ship were already there. Compared to the Marie Celeste of yesterday it was absolutely packed, presumably with people having breakfast before heading out on 8am excursions, our excursion was simply going to be the city of Naples itself as possible trips to Vesuvius, Pompei or the Amalfi coast would have been too much / tired.  So on a day when the weather initially seemed uncertain, we jumped aboard route A for the Hop on Hop off bus and headed out into the mayhem that is the Napoli traffic where it was every van, car and scooter for the selves. I think it's bes...
Read more