16th March The first rut is the deepest

 

Fresh from a spot of DIY road repair outside his Harlow home, 72 yr old gravel voiced rocker, Rod Stewart, has taken out an advert in his local newspaper offering his services across a whole spectrum of community activities to earn a bit of extra cash. 

Having ensured that his beloved Ferrari was able to negotiate the recently restored road, Stewart, replaced his high viz tabard and tracksuit bottoms for a more comfortable leopard print jacket and leather trousers and mused about his career options.

"All this recording and touring just takes it out of me to be honest," he explained. And there's only so much time a grown man can spend playing with a mdel train set before people stop thinking I'm sexy and start asking if I'm senile. Even Penny, my missis has been biten by the community spirit and got involved by becoming a Special Constable with the City Of London Police force. And that uniform does wonders for me when she's off duty I can tell you."

"So I started wondering what I could do you know, maybe try my hand at being a lollipop man, bin collector, leaf sweeper, dog walker, gardener, serve refreshments on a downtown train or just join the neighbourhood watch. Something away from the wild side of life cause this old heart of mine can't take too much strain any more and these hot legs have certainly cooled down quite a bit in the past few years."

"It's not all gonna be all plain sailing and I know some will think I was only joking but just as one the construction crew told me when we started all these pot holes..remember Rod, the first rut is the deepest."





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