12th March Singing the blues at the Bridge


With all the assets of Roman Abramovich currently being as frozen as a celebrities face, the question racing around football grounds up and down the country is how long will it be before Chelski football club are forced to move from the Premier League to a Premier Inn?

Chelski fans already taking to social media to admit that whilst the casualties of war come in many shapes and sizes, they are in fact the real victims in this conflict and question why Clive Myrie and Lyse Doucett have not done more interviews from the streets of south west London.

Season ticket holder at The Bridge, Ima Trublu, revealed, "If the team is unable to wear Abromovich purchased kit and is forced to play in its underwear for the rest of the season, then I fear that their assets will be as frozen as those of my favourite billionaire oligarch. And that's not gonna help us achieve European football next year is it. I mean who is gonna go in for a shattering tackle if you are worried about your frozen tackle being shattered in the process!"

"People complain that we've just bought success but let's be honest spending £97.5 million on a player who only has 7 touches of the ball in 90 mins isn't the best business I've ever seen conducted is it.  And what if our owner is BBF with Vladimir Putin, Qatar own Paris St German, Abu Dhabi owns Manchester City, the Saudis own Newcastle United and Delia Smith owns Norwich City. All of them are megalomaniac regimes with blood (or flour) on their hands."

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure cannot confirm whether former Chelsea captain John Terry is in fact in the Ukraine fighting on the front line but is pretty certain that if there is a presentation ceremony at the end of this particular Europen campaign, then he will certainly be the one picking up the trophy in his camoflaged tracksuit, even if he has taken no part in proceedings whatsoever.

 


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