10th March Ready for the 4th wave


Just as the government finally managed to get its act together in time for the 4th wave of Covid 19, so Grace Under Pressure can exclusively report that it hopes to get its visa policy up are running just in time for the 4th wave of Ukrainian refugees to start arriving in Calais.

A spokesman for no 10 revealed that by midnight yesterday the British government had successfully processed the visa applications of six Ukrainian refugees out of the 1.5 million that had left that war torn country. 

"This number would have been much higher," revealed Ivor Formtofillin, "but in the scramble to leave houses that were being bombed, many of the potential applicants unfortunatly failed to collect the relevant documents and essential paperwork to show that they were rich oligarchs, multi billionaires of current donors to the Tory party."

"Plus none of them had qualifications to pick our fruit and veg. It would have been seven people but closer examination of someone who had dragging a large suitcase all the way from Kyiv revealed it wasn't full of booze, party poppers and canapes and so we had to send them back to Brussels again."

Whilst the UK government remains firm in its resolve not to engage militarily with the advancing Russian forces, NATO is currently considering sending Pritti Patel to the frontlines to simply snarl at the opposing Russian tanks and Crimean Hunter forces. That should send Putin packing!


 

 



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