1st March It's a Meer cat astrophe


In a shock move that has stunned many, self made Russian oligark, Aleksandr Orlov, has pleaded with UK government officials to unfreeze his assest after he was targetted in the net of financial sanctions imposed on the Russian super rich following the invasion of Ukraine.

Mr Orlov, who together with his trusted business partner Sergei, amassed their multi billion fortune exploiting a gap in the insurance market following the collapse of the old USSR, have become darlings of both British high society and the media with frequent appearances on our TV screens. Now it is feared that Aleksandr and Sergei have become tarred with the same brush as the Russian oligarcs who have frequently donated money to Conservative party funds over the past couple of years.

In an exclusive interview with Grace Under Pressure's very own rouble reduced reporter,  Aleksandr Orlov claimed, "I am an innocent casualty in this war. I do not know Vladimir Putin and I have never attended a home game at Stamford Bridge courtesy of any links I might have with Roman Abramovich."

Orlov who spends most of his time either aboard his giant super yatch or gleefully mocking his Knightbridge neighbours for how high their energy bills are, denied press reports that it was him captured on grainy CCTV images a few weks ago at the Black sea resort of Sozopol, bare chested, riding a horse with President Putin. Standing tall and proud, whilst scanning left and right to survey all before him, Mr Orlox claimed that the video was a result of CGI, made up simply to use him as a puppet for Western Imperialist propoganda purposes.

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