7th January Five things worse than wearing a mask in school


In a world exclusive to Grace Under Pressure, 13 year Simon Bradfield has revealed that there are many things that happen during a normal school day that affect his mental health and well being more than having to wear a mask in school

Head flushed down the loo: Do adults honestly think a 13-year-old gives a toss about wearing a cloth on their face when they’re used to having their head stuffed down a toilet every breaktime by idiots trying to see if the litre of hair product you have carefully coiffured onto your bonce will dissolve in water. When you've had a mouth full of an Izal toilet block, wearing a mask seems a luxury.

School dinners: Let's be honest what 13yr old wants organically grown, pro biotic, vegan quiche for lunch? That's far worse than having a piece if flimsy cloth over your mouth for 6 hours. Bring hack Turkey Twizzlers, chips, pink custard you can stand your spoon up in and spottted dick just so you can make innuendo laden jokes. This if course provided you have not had to hand over your lunch money to the menace and school bully that is Vicky Smallbridge on the way to school.

PE:  Having a basket ball thrown at your face, trying to stop a neanderthal phsycopath tearing you limb from limb on the rugby pitch, almost freezing to death on a cross country run, the prospect of an unexpected 'wedgie' where 3/4'S of your underpants get forcibly pulled up between your buttocks and threaten to cut off the blood supply to your bollocks yeah and having to take a shower and discovering that your not as much of a man as everyone else are all infinitely worse than wearing a mask.

Double Maths: Trying to understand what letters and symbols have to do with checking you got the right change in the supermarket. Wondering why you need to be Greek scholar to remember the names associated with a triangle. Having to sit next to the numerically illiterate and fragrently challenging Barry Butterworth. Give me a mask anyday of the week

Non uniform day: Something that was meant to be fun is in fact the  most tortuous day of the year as the sartorial critiques sharpen their knives and get ready to burst your self esteem bubble. the hours you spent carefully coordinating your outfit  torn to shreds by a singel sarcastic snipe. Usually from the teachers espcially those who teach social sciences..

A mask, the worst thing for my mental health and well being? Far from it as it least it hides my hideous teenage acne.




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