26th January At PMQT


 In a world wide exclusive Grace Under Pressure has contacted renowned psychic, Watzgonna Appen in an attempt to fortell the future and in particular the excuses Boris Johnson will give during Prime Minister's question time for having a birthday bash in no 10. Gazing into her crystal ball, Watzgonna Appen, appeared to enter into a trance before revealing the following prophetic message.

Excuse no 1 will be he doesn't even know when his birthday is and therefore was it not only a surprise party it was a surprise it was his birthday.

Excuse no 2 will attempt to explain that the singing of Happy Birthday was carried out because everyone happened to be simultaneously washing their hands properly as championed by Sir Chris 'next slide please' Whitty. The link between said recitation of the world's most popular song and chomping down on the cake and assorted party food is merely circumstantial.

Excuse no 3 will reveal that blowing out the candles was not a potential super spreader action but simply a way Boris sought to remove a fire hazard and potential catostrophic blaze thus reducing the burden on the NHS and emergency services. It was all done simply for the benefit of the public. 

Excuse no 4 will try to convice the general public that the dancing was not actually dancing but was simply hard working office staff taking a well earned15 min break to engage with the daily Joe Wickes work out in order to maintain physical health as well as mental well being.

Finally excuse no 5  will suggest that the '56 Today!' badge pinned to his chest by a fawning Matt Hancock was simply the number of really great decisions Boris had made that morning like the 1% pay rise to NHS staff.

At the time of going to press Grace Under Pressure is unable to fully explain the presence of interior designer Lulu Lytle at the spontaneously planned birthday event but suspect she was simply there to attempt to paper over everything that was actually going on.

Tory minister Conor Burns says Boris Johnson was 'ambushed' with cake at ' birthday party' in No10 | Daily Mail Online

 

 




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